On being a grown-up
Its a strange word that - "grown-up". Most of us who are older would
use the more common term "adult". But that term seems to be used as
an adjective as well which is not what I am addressing. Children use the term "grown-up" to refer to someone who is bigger
than them; bigger physically, certainly, but perhaps also meaning
someone is older, wiser and more capable than them. Someone who has
learnt what to do and what not to do; who can make decisions and act
for themselves. Its hard to really define at what point someone becomes "grown-up".
Is it when you leave school (at whatever age that is)? When you're
old to enough to vote? Old enough to be sanctioned to kill on behalf
of the state? Some societies or cultures have specific rituals that
are carried to mark a passage into adulthood ("grown-up-ness") and
usually the new adult has access to new privileges and new
responsibilities. I do not think there is a specific cut-off point. I do think that
there are characteristics which mark one as being "grown-up" and I
also think that some people never exhibit these (regardless of age).
The broad - well, very broad - definition that I have been thinking
about recently goes like this: "A grown-up is someone who can see for themselves what needs to be
done and does it (as capably as possible), regardless of whether
anyone else even knows it has to be done." A simple illustration. Imagine you driving along a quiet country
road, through some wooded area, late in the day, with the sun about to
set. You are away from the suburban areas, and there is no artificial
source of light around. Just as you approach a bend, you see that an
old tree trunk has fallen over and is lying across the other side of
the road. After a moments thought, you pull over and, after some
effort, manage to push and pull the trunk, which is not as heavy as it
appeared, into the ditch. You get back in your car and drive away.
The sun has set now, so you switch on your car-lights. After a while
your thoughts drift back to the friend you are on your way to visit. A somewhat contrived situation to be sure, but we encounter smaller
versions of this almost every day. There are those who are oblivious
to anything except that which is directly in their path. There are
those who might notice but would just drive by, muttering complaints
about the poor state of road maintenance and the incompetence of the
workers. Still others who might think about helping but convince
themselves that it was not their problem or that could not manage the
task, or perhaps that they don't want to keep their friend waiting. I
could go on, but I hope I have made my point. Its the actions we take every day, along our journey, that determine
whether we are becoming more grown-up or choosing to remain like a
child.
use the more common term "adult". But that term seems to be used as
an adjective as well which is not what I am addressing. Children use the term "grown-up" to refer to someone who is bigger
than them; bigger physically, certainly, but perhaps also meaning
someone is older, wiser and more capable than them. Someone who has
learnt what to do and what not to do; who can make decisions and act
for themselves. Its hard to really define at what point someone becomes "grown-up".
Is it when you leave school (at whatever age that is)? When you're
old to enough to vote? Old enough to be sanctioned to kill on behalf
of the state? Some societies or cultures have specific rituals that
are carried to mark a passage into adulthood ("grown-up-ness") and
usually the new adult has access to new privileges and new
responsibilities. I do not think there is a specific cut-off point. I do think that
there are characteristics which mark one as being "grown-up" and I
also think that some people never exhibit these (regardless of age).
The broad - well, very broad - definition that I have been thinking
about recently goes like this: "A grown-up is someone who can see for themselves what needs to be
done and does it (as capably as possible), regardless of whether
anyone else even knows it has to be done." A simple illustration. Imagine you driving along a quiet country
road, through some wooded area, late in the day, with the sun about to
set. You are away from the suburban areas, and there is no artificial
source of light around. Just as you approach a bend, you see that an
old tree trunk has fallen over and is lying across the other side of
the road. After a moments thought, you pull over and, after some
effort, manage to push and pull the trunk, which is not as heavy as it
appeared, into the ditch. You get back in your car and drive away.
The sun has set now, so you switch on your car-lights. After a while
your thoughts drift back to the friend you are on your way to visit. A somewhat contrived situation to be sure, but we encounter smaller
versions of this almost every day. There are those who are oblivious
to anything except that which is directly in their path. There are
those who might notice but would just drive by, muttering complaints
about the poor state of road maintenance and the incompetence of the
workers. Still others who might think about helping but convince
themselves that it was not their problem or that could not manage the
task, or perhaps that they don't want to keep their friend waiting. I
could go on, but I hope I have made my point. Its the actions we take every day, along our journey, that determine
whether we are becoming more grown-up or choosing to remain like a
child.
